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Pages from Rupert Giles' Diary, (Discworld/BTVS Crossover)

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Not Another Apocalypse!

According to the Great Shaman of the Bellesticon it is known that that Bel-Shamharoth will rise at the eighth hour of the eighth day of the eighth year of the first century after the kraken meets its death at the dawn of the new millennium.

This would not normally be a problem for the Watchers, since Bel-Shamharoth rules over, lurks under haunts a completely separate dimension that is normally quite inaccessible from earth.

However, time passes differently in the various dimensions and it so happens that the 8th of the 8th 2008 on the Discworld falls on the 21st Dec 2012 earth-time. It is then, according to the prophecies, that the walls between the worlds will sunder and – well, the translation that I am working from at the moment states that the evils will meet.

Prophecies about what will happen once the Sender of Eight has risen and passed through the portals to Earth tend to be detailed, graphic and carved into the walls of caves by shaman who clearly had an ample supply of red ochre and an unhealthy interest in depicting viscera.

Werewolves are expected to be particularly affected, although the prophecies are insufficiently specific about whether that will take effect only after the moon has been cast into the depths of the great volcano, releasing Hell into the realms of Earth.

The prophecies become seriously contradictory when the material starts to cover the First Evil’s reaction to all this. I really cannot quite see how a non-corporeal being could possibly first marry the Sender of Eight and then undergo quite such an acrimonious divorce.

At first glance it seems obvious that “marriage” is a metaphor for a purely symbolic union between the premier evils of the time; however, the reasons for the divorce are detailed in the Necrotellicommen and, frankly, these do appear to cast some surprising sidelights on the capabilities of both the beings concerned.

(I do feel that a case exists for retranslating the whole of Appendix Two and, possibly, reclassifying it. Syranous the Cynic of Gallafrin claimed that his translation of this material is absolutely reliable. On the other hand, Donaldson asserts that Gallafrin is best known for the national cuisine, which includes magic mushrooms.)

There is a further factor. I feel that it is appropriate to take into account that there is considerable controversy over whether the prophecy does mean “The Kraken” (a giant squid with far-reaching tentacles) or whether this is a metaphor for the Internet. In point of fact, The Millennium Bug signally failed to destroy the Internet as predicted in the year 2000, the dawn of the most recent new millennium.

I would therefore postulate that, despite the Mayan calendar and the plethora of prophecies, nobody has the faintest idea whether dangerously significant events are due to begin from 21.12.12 or whether we will be spared for a further thousand years or two, (or at least until something else dangerous is born/rises/is summoned/bitten/turned or elected.)

In other words, I rather doubt whether it is worth alerting Buffy and the other Slayers about this one. (In any case, what could they possibly do?)

I am, however, bringing the situation to the attention of experts on the other dimension involved to ascertain whether their opinions differ.
They're Feelin':
complacent studious
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On December 21st, 2012 12:05 am (UTC), leatherdykeuk commented:
bravo!
[User Picture]
On December 21st, 2012 12:46 am (UTC), londonbard replied:
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
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